I have wasted my life?

I'm not gonna lie or sugar coat it, your life sounds pretty bad, and it seems to me that you're having trouble taking the initial step. However, you only get one shot at life, and there's no point in wasting it doing a job you hate, with a life you're not happy with. My advice would be to take the plunge, do something that you've always wanted to, and start socialising with people your own age. Go travelling, most people say the best time they ever had was while they were travelling. What have you really got to lose.